A few weeks ago a young man came to the door trying to get me to sponsor/support/buy something or other. He went on about how he grew up in the ghetto part of Chicago, had a rough upbringing and was trying to create a "better life" for him and his son. He was a single dad and was working to support them.
I went along with his sell tactics for a while. (I didn't want to be rude.) He eventually went on to congratulate me on my success and home (not aware that I live with my parents...haha.) Then he asked, "Ma'm what do you do for a living??"
I was holding Nathan, and Owen was attached to me, peering out around my leg. I replied, with pride, "Well, I stay home and take care of these two boys!"
He then said...wait for it... "[Chuckle] Alright! A professional relaxer!" And then proceeded to high-five me.
Insert tire/record screech sound effect here.
Me: "Professional Relaxer!?!"
Oblivious to my obvious offense he went on with his sales pitch for a few minutes. This is where I started to doubt his story. How could a guy who claimed to be a single dad claim that raising two boys is "relaxing!?" In which I politely declined his offer and excused him from my doorway.
Lets take a look at my job description: "Mom/Professional Relaxer":
Now sure, there are definite aspects of my job title that can be construed as relaxing. For example, I don't have to take a shower everyday (now... this may not always be by choice, but more on that later). I don't have to do my hair or make-up daily. Most days, I don't have to get out of my "lounge wear." And since my kiddos are so little, there are no real time constraints on being on-time to certain places, so I don't really have to wrestle with a daily commute or traffic.
But lets take a look at how my job, is not in any way shape or form "relaxing."
As you know, I have a 2 year-old and 4 month old. Meaning my job is 24/7, not 9 to 5 Monday-Friday. Having a 4 month old includes at LEAST 1 to 2 nightly feeding, which also means I haven't had a full nights sleep in 5+ months, because really how much sleep do you get in that last month of pregnancy ... really?
I rarely do not have a child strapped to my side. I don't often get trips to the bathroom alone. On the trips to bathroom where I manage to shut the door without a 2-year-old following me in, he is either banging on the door, OR the 4 month old is screaming because I had to set him down or because I had to leave the room. Cooking, doing dishes, and cleaning is a difficult task when a 2-year-old is hanging around your legs constantly asking to play or help. (I mean who can blame him, I am his only playmate at home during the day. We're best buddies. I know once they both get a little older entertaining each other will be much easier...)
We have routine that keeps us pretty busy. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, naps, playtime, play dates, outings, grocery shopping, errands, etc.
I get approximately 1 to 2 hours to myself daily. And this is all dependent. Dependent on a few things: If the boys feel like napping, if they feel like taking a good long nap, and especially if they feel like napping at the same time (very key). I can usually get 45 minutes to 1 hour to myself, 1.5 hours on a good day, and 2 hours on a heaven sent rare occasion. During this hour to myself I could do a load of laundry, I almost always do dishes during this time, and I eat. Sometimes on busy days, this will be the first time I eat all day. And I always find time to catch up on my blog reading, facebooking, and people.com stalking (don't judge me).
Of course, there is much, much more to my job description... like trying to be better about getting dinner on the table every night. Cleaning up after messy kiddos, and making sure those messy kiddos are clean! And I don't even want to go into how much poo clean up I do daily!
This story/blog entry may seem like I am complaining about my role as a mom. But nothing could be further from the truth. Even though it is the hardest and most challenging thing I have ever done in my life. It is absolutely the most rewarding and best experience. Nothing has brought me so much joy, closer to my Father in Heaven, and taught me patience like motherhood. I am certainly savoring each moment of my children being this little. Because, man oh man, it does go by WAY too fast.
However, please, PLEASE do not call me a professional relaxer, especially if you are trying to sell me something. :)
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE these two munchkins.